This past weekend the sun decided to grace us with her presence, so everyone (including a Lauren who was on the tail end of her week long cold) ran outside to soak up as much vitamin D as possible. It's so funny how everyone just flocks to the light after being cooped up inside for weeks while it rains. I love the rain as much as the next person (and let's face it, maybe a little bit more), but man, I do love me some sun!
If you are a new or old reader, you'll know to some extent or another that I have a passion for introverts, and more specifically, the introvert-extrovert relationship. My friends and I got into a big discussion about it after taking personality tests online (I'm INFJ), and while I knew about the different personalities in regards to introversion and extroversion, I had no idea of things like thinking versus feeling type of people. For me, I'm very much a feeling person. My emotions play into a big part of how I make decisions, and I see emotions as necessary for life. I live off of my emotions and they are what motivate me to help people, to create things, to do well in school, etc. But for other people (i.e. some of my friends), they are very much thinking people. The only emotion they really feel is anger, and in situations, they look at facts and logistics. They don't see the point of emotions and think the world would be just fine without them. And it's weird because I understand what they are saying, but I can't understand it at the same time because that's not how I see the world. And that's okay.
When we were first talking, I was completely blown away by how they said they viewed the world. They understand that things like art and literature have a point, but they don't see the point of it. When they help people, they do practical things to fix the physical. Whereas someone like me would just want to fix the emotion. At first, I thought it was completely crazy how different people actually are and how I was so blind to if for my whole life. I had been living in a world of egocentrism--I thought everyone thought the same way as me because I had never heard otherwise. But also while we were talking, we discovered how similar we are despite our differences. We don't deal well with other people's emotions and like to hide our own, we love puzzles and mind games, we love being with each other. I love how they are the planners and can deal with all the problems people give to them (they are awesome at advice); I love how when any situation arises, they are right there, ready to fix it. We make a great team, with the logical people and emotional people combined, they deal with a lot of the physical needs of our group, and I and the other emotionals deal with the emotional, nonphysical parts of the group.
At first I was kind of sad at how vastly different we were, but really, we still aren't that different from each other. I love the fact that no matter the differences between people, there's always something in common. And my friends are seriously the best friends I've ever had. They love me for who I am, and even if they don't always understand my way of seeing things (or understand why I must do crazy things for photos), they are still willing to help me (model, be my photo assistants, etc.) because they love me. That's seriously the greatest thing in the world.
Cheers to our differences, and cheers to how we are not really that different at all.
Hey guys! Here is the second Film Friday video! I just found this yesterday and was planning to show a different video (and even another video before I found that video), but in light of my big psychology project that I've been working on for about a month about introvert and extrovert group idea generation and just that relationship in general, I figured this was more appropriate.
My friend Jenna came in my room while I was watching this video (and subsequently crying because of it, hah ... this subject has meant a lot to me for a long time), and she watched it with me and helped me with my psychology presentation since I'm super nervous to present it, go figure. It was nice to be able to talk with her a little bit about it, even though I'm not always good at expressing my thoughts. I'm so passionate about this subject because it's my very nature and I just want to get the word out and gain awareness because I don't want anyone to feel the way I feel for being who I am. You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed for who you are, and if people hate you for it, please please please don't think it's your fault. I'm struggling with this right now, and it's hard to appeal to an extroverted world. Every individual has to find a balance to be sensitive to all personalities. I have to constantly work hard at being more outgoing and initiating things and relationships, because I am no good at it (which not only stems from my personality, but from people in the past not wanting to have relationships with me for whatever reasons. I've written about this a lot before, not on this blog but in my own personal journals and to my mom, but I never want to invest in a relationship if the other person isn't willing to invest because I have been disappointed and hurt in the past, so I usually wait for other people to initiate relationships with me). And other people have to work hard at initiating things with me and being okay with me not feeling the need to express things.
And really, I think I am most myself on here. If you want to know who Lauren is, just read Introverts Introduction. I feel free to write my thoughts and express these subjects that I don't ever get to talk about with people. So thank you guys for being willing to engage with me. I really count you as a friend and I feel like this place is constantly a two-way conversation, which I absolutely adore.
Hopefully this helped you a little bit, if you're an introvert to be confident in who you are, and if you're an extrovert to be understand to those who are different than you.
And hopefully next week's video will be a little more lighthearted!
I highly highly encourage you to watch this lecture. Even though it's nineteen minutes long, the time really flies because it is incredibly interesting (I've already watched it twice--yes, it's that good). Since my blog is titled Introvert's Introduction and since I myself am an introvert, I thought you all would really enjoy this video. (If you are planning on watching it, you should do so before you continue reading.)
Susan Cain speaks on how introverts are forced to live in a generally extroverted world. Kids have to work in groups at school, many jobs are in stimulating environments, and everyone seems to have the mindset that the more outgoing you are, the better your life will be. That's a pretty tough place to be in if you're an introvert. Cain also talks about how there are many different places a person could be on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. For me, I oftentimes enjoy being surrounded by people (I'm specifically thinking of high school dances and whatnot), but usually I would rather go to coffee with friends or to dinner or to someone's house. Being around many people wears me out after awhile and I feel perfectly happy coming home after a long day to sit in my room reading a book or editing photos.
Growing up, I always hated working in groups, unless of course I didn't understand the particular task, then I was happy to come together with someone who knew more than me. Cain talks about how even though our society should turn around and gear things more towards introverts (solitude working as opposed to group working), it is still necessary to brainstorm with other people. But--and she made an interesting point relating this to religious figures--great revelations come from being in solitude. That being said, without people to communicate those revelations to, there would have been no growth in the religious institutions (and you can make this if/then scenario with any institution).
I find that idea of solitude to revelation (creativity, problem-solving, etc.) to be very true in my own life. Recently I bought a dress pattern and have spent the past few days alone in the basement, sewing away and piecing together fabric. And I have had so much fun doing that, it's probably on my list of top five fun things I've done all summer. I just really enjoy the challenge of putting together a puzzle and spending time with my thoughts and creating something all by myself. I just love love doing that. On my mirror in my room I have written in the corner, "Every once in a while, blow your own mind," and I have been trying to live by that saying. My way of blowing my mind might be different than someone else's way. For me, it's creating a dress from scratch or taking a beautiful photo or writing a novel. But also, it could very easily include becoming more engaging in group activities or going out of my way to make friends (which I will have to do in college). It goes both ways. In the video, Cain says that she's not trying to make extroverts sound bad, because the world needs both, it's just that we need to have a balance. Introverts should try to collaborate more and extroverts should go off and think and be alone to build thought.
At the very end of her lecture, she gives three awesome points:
1. Stop the madness for constant group work.
This one made me laugh so hard. I never understood why teachers in school constantly wanted group activities. Even in subjects that I liked such English, I hated working in a group. It wasn't because of the people, but simply because I would much rather come up with my own ideas instead of having to listen to other people talk on and on or having to compromise what I thought was a correct answer for the sake of the group. But at the same time, I loved how in English class, we also had class discussions, where we would just play off of everyone's ideas and new thoughts would arise. It was a very kinetic way of learning, to be alone with your thoughts for a moment, share them with the class, and generate new thoughts as other people shared their own.
2. Go to the wilderness.
I know even when I am just outside taking photos in the yard, I feel so happy and alive. There's just something about nature and being immersed in it that is really calming. Also, whenever my family goes camping, we have to leave the laptops, the tv, sometimes the cell phone behind. It's nice to get away from all the stress because let's be honest, technology can be stressful. I know I never knew how hard it was to run a blog until I actually started doing it. One just feels renewed when they go into the wilderness. I know when I come back from camp, I want to limit my time indoors even more so that I can be surrounded by creation. There's so much noise in the world, but the trees make beautiful music.
3. Open up your suitcase.
Susan Cain told a beautiful story in the beginning of her lecture of how she brought a suitcase of books with her to summer camp but then never took them out because the more extroverted people deemed it inappropriate to go off alone and read.
For me, this last point is exactly my mission for Introvert's Introduction. This place is a chance for not only me to show what's in my suitcase, but for others to share what's in theirs. People are just so so unbelievably amazing and I don't know how I can stress that enough. Every story, every experience, every little detail that you have is incredibly important and amazing (yes, even those bad stories and experiences and details) and no story should go untold. So I hope you have the courage to show people a little bit of what's in your suitcase. Introvert's Introduction is my little suitcase. I am very open here and quite honestly, I love being able to have the opportunity to share my life with you, because my life is amazing ... and your life is amazing. Life is just so amazing! and lives are meant to be shared.
I know this post is a bit different, but I hope to have more like it in the future. And I do want this to become more of a community and not always just me talking about myself (though that will fill up a lot of the space as it is my sort of diary), so I've been brainstorming a bit (going into the wilderness) on how to do that. I'm still not sure yet, and with college on the horizon it may be a while yet. But that's okay. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this question: what's in your suitcase? What's one story that has made you who you are today?
